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A routine conversation in our house:
Husband: Would you like some [insert healthy food option here]?
Me: No. I don’t eat that.
Husband: Why not? It’s good for you.
Me: It’s not delicious. I only eat delicious foods.
Husband: You cannot eat only delicious foods. You have to eat healthy sometimes.
Me: I know. I’m not anti-health food. I’m just pro-delicious food. When they start making delicious healthy food, I’m all over it.
Husband: You’re ridiculous.
Me: “Only delicious food.” It’s my food mantra. My philosophy on food. My foodilosophy, if you will.
Husband: More fruit, less Oreos.
Me: Gah!

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It’s true though: “only delicious food” pretty much sums up my eating habits. I will eat anything, as long as I find it delicious. I cannot choke down a bowl of melon just because it’s good for me. What an awful way to live. While I do consume a fairly good amount of things that are good for me, this philosophy results in a fairly low level of fruits and vegetables in my diet. There are a handful of each and find yummy (such as apples, and grapes, and asparagus.  and bacon.  I love bacon) and devour but usually I find fruits and vegetables disappointing.

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The produce section of the store is by far my favorite. I think fruits and veggies are gorgeous. I love picking out the perfect one and admiring the colors and textures. I even love baking and cooking with them. But then I take a bite and immediately regret it. They are not delicious. Berries, especially, let me down every time. Tragic.

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Thankfully, I find many unhealthy things un-delicious which keeps me from dying. I hate doughnuts and dislike most cakes (except for funfetti and cheesecake) so that helps. I also believe in real sugar, and butter, and full-fat milk. I’m pretty sure all of that processed stuff gives you cancer. I would rather eat one bite of a real cookie than a whole batch made with all of that processed s-h-i-t (I have a baby, we have to spell all of our bad words now). They are not delicious and they will kill you. If I were to ever campaign against something, it would be artificial sweeteners. They should be made illegal. But, I’m getting off-topic. Anyway, to sum it up: I cook like Paula Deen, and I only eat delicious foods.

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Needless to say, when we discover a fruit or vegetable that I find yummy, there is great rejoicing by Husband and we eat it often. My newest love is this chopped salad which was introduced to us by my mother-in-law. It is, in fact, delicious. Probably because it involves bacon, but whatever. I’m eating green things and everyone’s happy. And you can trust me when I say it’s delicious. I know delicious.

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Chimichurri Steak Chopped Salad

Baker’s note: we sometimes make this with cilantro-lime chicken. Also delicious. All of the ingredients are estimated since we usually just keep throwing stuff into a bowl until it looks good.
Serves six
1 flank steak (about 1-1 1/2 lbs)
Chimichurri sauce. I buy it at our local food market in a bottle but making your own is cool, too.
5 strips of bacon, cooked and chopped
3 heads of romaine lettuce, washed and chopped
4 green onions, washed and diced
2 oz soft cheese, sliced thinly. I like creamy havarti, but it’s your call
10 stalks asparagus, chopped into 2-inch pieces
2 whole ears sweet corn
Salt & pepper to taste
1/3 C Olive Oil + extra for grilling
3 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
Juice of one lime
Fritos corn chips. Originally, this was supposed to have strips of fried tortillas instead but I’m lazy and used Fritos. It stuck.

1. Marinade flank steak in chimichurri (about half the bottle) for at least an hour. I usually put it in the marinade as soon as I get home from the store, pop it in the fridge or freezer and use it whenever.
2. Toss asparagus in about 1 Tbsp olive oil, salt, and pepper. Wrap in foil and place on grill for about 45 minutes or until tender
3. Brush corn with olive oil and grill for approx 12 minutes-rotating frequently. Remove corn from cob.
4. Grill steak for about 5 minutes on each side. Let rest on a plate covered in foil.
5. In large bowl, toss lettuce, green onion, bacon, cheese, asparagus, and corn.
6. Whisk together olive oil (1/3 C), red wine vinegar, and lime juice. Toss with salad.
7. Add Fritos on top and serve with sliced steak.
8. And that, my friends, is a delicious meal.

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4 thoughts on “foodilosophy

  1. If laughing really does cut years off you’re life, then you are my weekly anti-aging drug. Thanks so much! You make my day, week, month, year!

      • Haha. Thanks! Our life is a circus and we like it that way. I keep thinking I’ll set up cameras in my house because it gets ridiculous. But that would be creepy, so nevermind. But still….

  2. Pingback: the great funfetti fiasco | always an adventure

I love comments. Did you also threaten to burn down your kitchen? Do you know how to get dogs (or ducks) to stop digging holes? Please tell me about it.

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