apple pie, a post by husband

 

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Even though it’s a well-kept secret, I am not the only baker in the family: Husband is also quite a master in the kitchen. Since basically the beginning of the blog, I’ve been raving about Husband’s apple pie and I’ve been begging him to share recipe with y’all and he has finally agreed! Well, kind of. I had to type it while he talked super fast. I hope I got everything. This recipe is recorded as it was shared so prepare for some fun adventures as you try to follow along. Also, last time he made the pie (and took these pictures), he made mini-pies instead of a big one so if the pictures don’t match up with what you’re reading, just play along.

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Husband says this is the most important step: open a beer. “You must be drinking beer at all times while in the kitchen. It’s what keeps this baking shit from being girly.”

crust:
from allrecipes.com
baker’s note: this is for a double-crust
2 1/2 C flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 C shortening
6 Tbsp ice water

1. Put the flour and salt in a bowl. Cut in shortening. Mix well. It should get lumpy.
2. Put some ice and water in a cup (because you want it super cold) and then take 6 Tbsp of the cold water and put it in the dough. Mix well.
3. Wrap it in cling wrap and chill for half an hour.
4. After removing from refrigerator, divide in half and roll out for a 9-inch pie.
5. Roll out the other half and cut it into strips about a half an inch wide. Set aside for later.

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filling:
adapted from Grandma Ople
about 8 apples of your favorite variety
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C white sugar
1/4 C water
1/2 C butter
3 Tbsp flour
1/3 C applesauce
2 Tbsp cinnamon
1/2 a bottle of hard cider

1. Begin by slicing apples into small chunks. I like them thin and bite-sized but you can choose for yourself.
2. Take cut up apples and cider and put in large microwavable bowl. Partially cover and cook in microwave for 3-5 minutes or until apples are soft. Drain apples.
3. Add cinnamon and applesauce. Mix well then spoon into crust.
4. In a saucepan, melt 1/2 C of butter. Add 3 Tbsp of flour to thicken. Add 1/4 C water. Then add sugars. Stir over medium-low heat until it begins to simmer, then turn it to low.
5. Now it’s a choice for you: Cass likes the goop from step 4 under the crust, but some people like it on top. Either way, add the goop to your pie.
6. Top with lattice-work crust
7. Take any excess dough and build up the sides. Because who doesn’t like more dough?
8. Oh wait, and then, actually, you’re going to add an egg.
Me: To what part?
Husband: This part.
Me: Just put an egg on top?
Husband: No, whisk it. You need something for the sugar crystals to stick to. Oh, you’re going to need sugar crystals.
Me: Good grief. So you whisk the egg….
(apparently I emphasize the H sound when I say WH words like that Family Guy commercial about Cool Whip. I’m very sensitive about my newly-developed speech impediment so Husband takes every opportunity to point it out.)
Husband: Yes, wHHisk the egg.
Me: Shut up.
Husband: WHisk the egg and then brush it on top, all over the lattice top. Then you’re going to take some big sugar crystals and sprinkle them on top so that wives are impressed.
9. Take pie and balance on head. Just kidding.
10. Preheat oven to 425°. Bake for 15 minutes. Then reduce temp to 350° and bake for an additional 30 minutes.
11. Take pie out and serve warm with vanilla ice cream for best results. Now you know all of my secrets and I’m useless.
Me: What are the best results?
Husband: The tasty kind. You don’t need to put that, though. If they don’t want to serve it with vanilla ice cream, it’s their loss.
Me: Oh, I’m writing it.

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2 thoughts on “apple pie, a post by husband

I love comments. Did you also threaten to burn down your kitchen? Do you know how to get dogs (or ducks) to stop digging holes? Please tell me about it.

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