beer police

at dinner:

Husband: Do you think it’s illegal to drink this beer with a straw?

Me: Illegal?! Yes. The beer police are going to materialize and arrest you immediately.

Husband: That’s all? I thought they would do something extreme like kick me in the balls.

Me: Nah, but they’ll definitely take your man card.

Husband: Probably two man-cards. I only have one so you’ll have to let me borrow yours.

Me: I can’t believe this is actually a conversation. Put down that straw.

And then I found this on the internet:

I can’t wait til the next baby shower. I’m going to have the best. gift. ever.

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I love comments. Did you also threaten to burn down your kitchen? Do you know how to get dogs (or ducks) to stop digging holes? Please tell me about it.

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