vacation amnesia


Every year, my husband and I take a little winter trip to Montana. I say it’s for the snowboarding but since I like alcohol being warm a lot more than I like being wet, cold and sliding down a mountain, I sit in the lodge and drink socialize while the expert (Husband) makes black diamonds look like the bunny slopes. I’m not just bragging, he really is awesome. (See above photo.) I do wear snow pants though so I at least look like I fit in.
Anyway, it’s that time of year again. Somehow vacation always manages to sneak up on me and it’s the night before and I have not packed, cleaned the house, made arrangements for the zoo, etc. Sneaky vacations. This is year went something like this:

Husband: Have you packed yet?
Me: For what?
Husband: Montana. We leave tomorrow.
Me: Holy pinecones, Batman! How long have you know about this? Why didn’t you tell me?!
Husband: I’m not even going to answer that.
Me: what time are we leaving?
Husband: Our flight is at 5:30am. We need to leave the house at 4. Which means you need to wake up at 3:15.
Me: What are you smoking?! Everyone knows that it is impossible for humans to be awake at that time. Only vampires are alive then. Are we vampires? Who made these reservations anyway? What an idiot.
Husband: you did.
Me: oh.

Apparently I have a quite severe case of vacation amnesia. Thankfully Husband has an infinite amount of patience.

Me: what time is it now?
Husband: 11pm.
Me: crap. Am I allowed to look like a homeless person? Do I have to shower?
Husband: ……

We barely manage to make it to the airport. All the airport staff gave me dirty looks when I came in 20 minutes before the flight, but I did manage to squeeze in a shower.  They should be grateful


I love comments. Did you also threaten to burn down your kitchen? Do you know how to get dogs (or ducks) to stop digging holes? Please tell me about it.

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