yes, we are adults. why do you ask?

I asked Husband to look at the blog. His reaction: “you seem like an awesome person”. Most wives would be happy to have their husbands recognize their awesomeness but I was slightly perturbed. He was right. I do seem awesome. In order to remedy that fallacy and show my true colors (which actually are awesome, and yes, awesome is a color), I submit as evidence my grocery list. Sadly this is typical. Please note “actual food”. Neither of us know what actual food is (considering my diet consists mostly of Oreos and Dr Pepper) but as responsible adults, we feel like we should have some. And to think they let us buy a house and live unsupervised…

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i should have gone to supercuts

Today was one of those increasingly rare days when I didn’t put my hair up immediately after getting out of the shower. (yes, I know this is bad…I already had a lecture from every single person in the salon. Other customers included.) This gave me a chance to actually SEE my hair for the first time in weeks. Yikes! I booked an emergency appointment with the nearest salon but was almost too ashamed to keep my appointment. I slunk in and plopped down in the chair with a very weak, “help me.” After the poor girl got over her aneurysm, she asked when was the last time I had a haircut. Embarrassed, I had to say I couldn’t remember. Last year sometime? A hush fell over the salon. (In retrospect, I should have gone to SuperCuts. Those people don’t judge. This place was very judge-y but they put little cucumbers in my water and peppermint oil in my hair so I guess I’ll go back.) Magazines and combs dropped to the floor. I’m pretty sure I heard a few hail marys from the back. Oops.
I actually really love having my hair washed by other people while I sip lattes, but I just plain forget to go. I forget a lot of things that are supposed to happen regularly, but not frequently. I never hardly ever (okay, only sometimes) forget the stuff that is supposed to happen all the time, like eating, and paying the electric bill. But those once-a-quarter things like changing the air filter, cleaning the washing machine, getting a haircut, shampooing the carpet always slip through the cracks. Thus, the terrible hair and funky-smelling washing machine.
So I’ve devised a new system which I’m pretty sure no one has ever thought of before: I wrote it down on a calendar. Okay, maybe it’s not ground-breaking but I certainly had never done it before. I had only used my date book for things like “dr appt”, “Husband’s bday”, “buy more oreos”, etc. I pulled out my little Winnie the Pooh engagement calendar (you know you’re jealous. It’s very professional and I NEVER endure any teasing about it.) Now, for the whole year, there are things like “clean the washing machine” and “get an oil change” written on the timetables on which they’re actually meant to be accomplished. I don’t have to remember a thing – Winnie-the-Pooh remembers it for me.
And on Feb 25th, I will call the snooty (but awesome) salon to book an appt for the following week. I’ll still get the lecture about wearing my hair up everyday, but maybe I can avoid giving someone a stroke…

“a vary importnt thing to do”

now they think i can do magic

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My taste buds and my gluten sensitivity are locked in a continuous battle of good and evil (respectively). This time they both win although my brain took quite a beating: “something involving chick peas makes cookies?!” I found this recipe through my friend Julie and have adopted it as my new go-to dessert. The guys came over for football and commented on how awesome it was. I figured ignorance is bliss and they didn’t need to know how I made it. Besides, now they think I can do magic.

magic chocolate chip cookie

2 cans chick peas/garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 Cup quick oats
1/2 cup oat flour (or any oat flour/quick oat combo, just make it equal one cup)
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
3 tbsp oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup pure cane white sugar (again, any ratio of sugar equalling one and a half cups)
1 bag dark chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Crush chickpeas in food processor or Ninja (no, they don’t pay me, although they should) as well as possible then add all other ingredients except chocolate chips. Blend everything VERY well. The better you blend, the better it is.
3. Stir in chocolate chips and pour into a greased pan. The first time, I did a 9-inch cake pan which worked brilliantly but I wanted to mix it up and tried doing it in a muffin tin this time. It was still good, but I recommend the cake pan.
4. Bake at 350° for about 35 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving. Best served while still warm and gooey, but it’s good anytime!

photo instructions:(Complete with terrible photos. I really should take a class if I’m going to keep doing this blog thing.)

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Pour chick peas in food processor and blend well

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Add everything else and blend well

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“Go Ninja, Go!”

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Stir in dark chocolate chips

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Pour into greased pan and bake at 350° for 30-35 mins. Let cool for 10, then remove from pan and serve.

Don’t tell anyone this recipe. If you do, you won’t be magic anymore.

they come in that size

I found this picture that I thought was adorable and showed it to Husband.

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Husband: “Aw, that’s cute. Is it the horse’s baby?”
Me: “No, it’s a mini horse. They come in that size.”
Husband: “…that’s unfortunate.” (long pause while he studies the picture) “…..how is it supposed to pull the Budweiser wagon?”

And that, friends, I why I married that man.